A Messy Mother’s Day Message- When a day of honor hurts.


I know this day can be hard on some of us. The biggest one is a woman made to be a mother but still has empty arms. Mother’s day seems to highlight the longing.

The momma longing for more children.

The mommas who have strained relationships with a child. Mother’s day seems to magnify the silence. Maybe you’re the daughter who struggles with this day because she has no mother; her mother was less than nurturing or abusive.

Or the girl who wants to honor her mother because she knows her mom is a good woman, but not necessarily a great mother. You stand at the card section, searching for something that does not describe the perfect mother.


Today, I felt it necessary to validate your pain. To assure you, it’s okay to stay home on mother’s day. You are guarding your heart. You are protecting your peace.

It is not avoiding pain. The pain is there.

It's avoiding a spotlight on her heart.

It’s not having the discussion.

It’s not having to pretend you’re fine.

The Bible is filled with scriptures where precious people did not get what they prayed for. But they were comforted in their sorrow. They stood in faith, declared in hope, and believed until it looked ridiculous. And I would say to you-Keep believing in your miracle.

I would also say you are okay to weep when you pass another year without it.

I would tell you that many of God’s people learned to grieve or lament properly, IN their faith. IN their hope. IN their walk with Jesus.

Tenth avenue north has a song called Worn. It was a song that ministered to me when I prayed for a different outcome—praying for an intervention, a miracle, an act of God. And Instead, I journeyed through the darkness, clinging to the Light.

I didn’t blame God for the pain, but I knew He could change it. One word from God and stars are made, after all. But instead of speaking to me, God breathed on me.

Today, you may be facing a situation you had begged God for a different outcome. One snap of his fingers would fix it all. Change it. Create something new. But instead, you have had to learn to live with the disappointment. You have had to faith in your faith. Your love for God did not waver, but maybe your trust and joy in him did.

It’s okay. Sometimes, we just hurt and learn to live with a vacancy. You are not an ungrateful woman because you are disheartened. Your faith is not weak because you didn’t receive what you believed in. On the contrary, I think your faith is stronger than those who hold what they have longed for because you keep showing up. You keep loving Jesus. You keep celebrating others receiving what you prayed for. You stayed tethered to hope when you didn’t see the stars.


Hope is part of life, waiting in faith. And sometimes, we wait for a long time or until the end of time. But we never stop hoping, even in our pain.


Blessed are those who have not seen, yet believe.

Love H

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