“Then I heard the Lord asking, ‘Whom should I send as a messenger to this people? Who will go for us?’ I said, ‘Here I am. Send me.’” Isaiah 6:8
How to be available-
1- Answer “Yes”, Lord.
2- Ask “what is the question?”
July was a month we declared boldness and I felt the Lord wanted to add to that proclamation with a hearty action of obedience. Here I am Lord. Send me! I hear the song “Available” by Elevation Worship. https://youtu.be/mTSQun6B66E
This has been my prayer for decades. As a young teen I could feel something on my life. I had no words for it, but I felt outside of the circles. It’s hard to explain, but it was a bit isolating at the time. I now know I was experiencing being set apart. Of course the enemy likes to make this seem like rejection, a lack of fitting in and even an overwhelming loneliness. But it was during these years in my teens and twenties I drew near to a God I grew up loving but not fully understanding.
Feeling a call, hearing a call, answering the call and then stepping into the call; all takes a level of surrender and an all-in obedience. When I began to surrender to Jesus I was excited for what was going to come. And what came was decades of waiting. But it was in those years of utter dependence on Him, that he instilled in me a heart for the broken. I was privileged to have moments of what stepping out and stepping into my purpose look like, but they were always short term and infrequent.
The Lord was teaching me His heart all while I was raising my babies. And nothing teaches patience like having 4 children 5 and under.
They were my first to disciple. Whatever I would read in the word I would turn into a Bible story to share with them.
One morning I ached with an overwhelming desire to run in my call, but knew I couldn’t. I wanted to preach, teach and evangelize. As I did my chores that morning I cried out to the Lord with this desire to serve, and I heard Him so clearly ask, “Holly, what is in your hands?”
“My family.” I answered.
“Do that with all your might” He instructed.
As someone called to shepherd others, my children were my first assignment. And through that season Jesus took my hidden years and shaped in me a woman of discipline. I have stayed hungry for my purpose since I was 17. Faltering here and there with mistakes and messy moments, I have bumbled my way in faith that still says, “Here I am. Send me”
I am aware of the cost, but in my younger years, I didn’t understand the price of the call.
You see, when we say “here I am” we must also be able to consider the cost. And for many of us the cost starts in the waiting. There can be years of preparation for the moment we have been predestined to enter.
I think of Esther’s time of preparation. She was positioned to save her people and it started with a year of beauty treatments.
David’s years started with shepherding. Joseph’s time was in slavery. Abraham’s waiting was in a journey from what he knew to the unknown. Ruth’s “yes” was riddled with grief and loss.
Paul’s “yes” came with beatings and prison.
Jesus tells us to consider the cost in following him. Being available and saying, “yes” may place us in a season of waiting. It may require us to let some things go. We might have to say “no” to good things to be available for the greater things.
This month let’s ponder the price of what saying “I am available” looks likes and pray we are bold enough to take the leap towards our “yes”.
“And if you do not carry your own cross and follow me, you cannot be my disciple. But don’t begin until you count the cost. For who would begin construction of a building without first calculating the cost to see if there is enough money to finish it?…So you cannot become my disciple without giving up everything you own.”
Luke 14:27-28, 33 NLT
“Anyone who wants to serve me must follow me, because my servants must be where I am. And the Father will honor anyone who serves me.”
John 12:26 NLT